Don't Say on a First Date

In my time navigating the wilds of the online dating world, I've come across quite a few characters. Some men I've met became good friends, a few became boyfriends, a couple fell into the category of "Whoa! I think I've made an awful mistake." , and several were just plain old no-drama first dates, never to be seen again.

First dates can be exhilarating, terrifying, mind numbingly boring, and sometimes just down right entertaining. I've pieced together a list of memorable quotes, some from friends but most from my own experience, of things you should NOT say on a first date.

Men

10. I had to meet you in person to see if you smell better than you look. (said jokingly, I hope)

9. A few months ago I helped my ex home birth her baby.

8. Do you have a policy against sex on the first date?

7. You look a lot younger in your pictures.

6. You look older in person.

5. My cats sleep with me in my bed.

4. So...are you into porn?

3. I think my ex-wife might have given me herpes.

2. Well, we're not divorced just yet.

1. I'm always hungry and horny.

Women

10. Lets go out again Saturday. My period should be over by then.

9. I'm thinking of having my eggs frozen.

8. My dogs sleep in the bed with me.

7. I'm thinking about cutting my hair really short.

6. I can wait for you to meet my parents.

5. Any chance you can spot me $20 for parking?

4. I'm new to the dating scene. I just got out of jail.

3. Maybe we could go see the "Sex and the City" movie together.

2. I'm trying to start my life over after a string of bad relationships.

1. I absolutely love kids. I can't wait to have kids. How many kids do you want? I mean....not with me per se. I'm just speaking hypothetically of course. We're not even exclusive yet. I wouldn't want to rush things or anything but don't you love the names Aidan for a boy or Emily for a girl? Those aren't final. I mean, I'd like to have a boy and a girl but, I'd be happy as long as its healthy. Ideally, I'd like for them to be close together.....