Sunday, January 3, 2010
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Sorry
Dear Blog,
I'm so sorry I've neglected you. You know when were first started hanging out together a few months ago we were so connected. I spent all my waking hours thinking about you. I couldn't get enough of you. And then, through no fault of yours, we drifted apart.
Oh blog, I've missed you. Please take me back. Please. Don't make me beg. I promise I'll pay more attention to you from now on. Yes...facebook is still in the picture but, you're my first love. Facebook meant nothing to me baby. I was just there for the updates and the occasional poke. Yes...I poked too and I'm sorry for that. And yes...I know I've been watching too many YouTube videos of dancing dogs or insane teenagers but, I'm over it now. Really. Its you that I want.
So Blog, I'm here to apologize and say take me back. I know I can make it work this time. Just give me a chance.
Love,
Me
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Sorry, you've got the wrong numnber Part 2: So Predictable
So its been a few days since my friend, who I've renamed Mr. Sweat (thanks ML), has called. Today, just as I predicted, he called me during the day....3 times. After seeing the area code with a different number attached pop up I sort of figured it was him but, he wasn't leaving any juicy messages. By the third call I was pretty annoyed so I answered.
***********************************
*buzz,buzz (I keep my phone on vibrate at work)
Me: Hello
Mr. Sweat: How you doin'?
Me: Fine. Who is this? (as if I wouldn't recognize the voice)
*click
************************************
Like I said before, I still think Mr. Sweat believes I'm Christy and that I'm blowing him off. I might have to get a restraining order. This Christy must be one fine piece of ass for Mr. Sweat to be hounding her/me this much. I think Christy is better off without him anyway. He sounds like a real loser and a half. Christy's husband(I'm assuming she's married) just might have to answer the phone next time and give Mr. Sweat a talking to.
***********************************
*buzz,buzz (I keep my phone on vibrate at work)
Me: Hello
Mr. Sweat: How you doin'?
Me: Fine. Who is this? (as if I wouldn't recognize the voice)
*click
************************************
Like I said before, I still think Mr. Sweat believes I'm Christy and that I'm blowing him off. I might have to get a restraining order. This Christy must be one fine piece of ass for Mr. Sweat to be hounding her/me this much. I think Christy is better off without him anyway. He sounds like a real loser and a half. Christy's husband(I'm assuming she's married) just might have to answer the phone next time and give Mr. Sweat a talking to.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Sorry, you've got the wrong number
The other night I received a phone call around 5 til midnight. I checked the caller ID as I always do and did not recognize the number. So, I just let it ring. I waited for my phone to tell me I had a voicemail so I could hear who was calling me so late. This is what I heard:
******************************************
11:55pm
Keith: Hey baby, this Keith. Ah…uhh… Seems like you don’t got time for me right now….or, uh maybe, you know, you just went back to sleep. I hope I can try to be part of your life. I’m really (long pause) looking forward to it. I don’t know what the future holds but, I know what our future holds nothing. ( I have no idea what this means) I want you to be part of my life. I need something different. I need to do something different and I want to do it with you. Please give me a chance. (exasperated sigh) I want to love you real bad. I want you to love me too. I believe you will want for me. I’m praying that you are. Goodnight baby. *click
***************************************
Obviously, Keith had my number confused with someone else and did not bother to listen to the name on the greeting. I have no idea who this is. So, I sent a text to the number to tell him he had the wrong number. Problem solved.
Shortly after I listened to this message I went to bed. OK. Keith did not appear to get my text because I heard the phone ring again. Now, instead of being amused I was a bit miffed. How dare he interrupt my sleep. I saw that it was the same number and could not even muster the strength to pick up and tell him he had the wrong number. So, I ignored it and fell back asleep. About an hour later *ring, ring (Yes, my cell phone sounds like an old timey rotary phone). Its Keith again. Boy, this guy just doesn't give up! I ignored it again because I wasn't even conscious of my on hands let alone capable of answering a phone call at 2 in the morning.
The next morning, these are the voice mails I heard:
********************************
12:56am
Baby (sounding confused and upset) this is ME calling you back. You’re not answering your phone. (incredulous) So, I’ll try again (sounding a bit dejected). If I don’t get you, I’ll just call you in the morning. I’ll try again in a few minutes. (But I thought you said you weren’t going to call again until the morning) Good bye baby. *click
2:03am
Baby, I’m trying to call you back. (desperation in his voice). You must have went to sleep. I told you I’d hold you in my arms, massage you with my tongue. (ewwww) Anyway…that time will come. So, I just want to say good night to you. I’ll be thinking about you (Yeah….I sure bet you will). Can’t wait to ho-…..can’t wait to see you again. This Keith. (as if we needed another reminder) Goodnight baby. *click
**********************************
I, of course, could not leave this alone. So, I let me co-worker listen to the messages. After a few minutes of laughter, I decided to call Keith and tell him not to call me anymore. I didn't want his words to fall on deaf ears but, I also didn't want him waking me up again in the middle of the night. I called the number and a woman answered. Uh oh!
**********************************
Me: "Hi. Yeah..ahh .....is Keith there?"
Woman: "No."
Me: "Well, can you give him a message for me? Can you just tell him to stop calling me. I think he has the wrong number."
"OK. I'll tell him."
**********************************
Uh oh! I hope that wasn't Keith's wife or, as also affectionately know in parts of Oakland as his "old lady". A few minutes go by and I return to my cubicle to actually start working. *ring, ring
This time its a blocked number. Out of shear curiosity I pick up.
***********************************
Caller: "Why did you tell my mom you didn't want me to call you no more?"
Me: "Is this Keith?" as if I had to ask. I would know that voice anywhere by now.
Keith:"You know who this is."
Me: "No. Actually I don't know you."
Keith: "Of course you do. Don't act like you don't know me."
Me:"I think you have the wrong number."
Keith: "C'mon baby. Don't treat me like that. You know me. We met at Whitney's. I thought we had a connection."
Me: "No. That wasn't me. I don't know you or anyone named Whitney. I told you. You have the wrong number. Just don't call me. Who do you think I am?"
Keith: "You're Christy. We met at Whitney's place."
Me: "Nope. That's not me. You have the wrong number. I don't want you waking me up anymore."
Keith: "Ok. I WON'T call you no more."
*click
********************************
I don't think Keith believed me. He must think this Christy chick is blowin' him off...and she probably has good reason too. This guy sounds like a real piece of work.
I sort of half expected to get another phone call from Keith last night. Maybe I convinced him that I wasn't Christy and that he had the wrong number. Maybe he still thinks I am Christy and she/I want nothing to do with him. I really don't care. I'm just glad I got a full, uninterrupted night of sleep.
******************************************
11:55pm
Keith: Hey baby, this Keith. Ah…uhh… Seems like you don’t got time for me right now….or, uh maybe, you know, you just went back to sleep. I hope I can try to be part of your life. I’m really (long pause) looking forward to it. I don’t know what the future holds but, I know what our future holds nothing. ( I have no idea what this means) I want you to be part of my life. I need something different. I need to do something different and I want to do it with you. Please give me a chance. (exasperated sigh) I want to love you real bad. I want you to love me too. I believe you will want for me. I’m praying that you are. Goodnight baby. *click
***************************************
Obviously, Keith had my number confused with someone else and did not bother to listen to the name on the greeting. I have no idea who this is. So, I sent a text to the number to tell him he had the wrong number. Problem solved.
Shortly after I listened to this message I went to bed. OK. Keith did not appear to get my text because I heard the phone ring again. Now, instead of being amused I was a bit miffed. How dare he interrupt my sleep. I saw that it was the same number and could not even muster the strength to pick up and tell him he had the wrong number. So, I ignored it and fell back asleep. About an hour later *ring, ring (Yes, my cell phone sounds like an old timey rotary phone). Its Keith again. Boy, this guy just doesn't give up! I ignored it again because I wasn't even conscious of my on hands let alone capable of answering a phone call at 2 in the morning.
The next morning, these are the voice mails I heard:
********************************
12:56am
Baby (sounding confused and upset) this is ME calling you back. You’re not answering your phone. (incredulous) So, I’ll try again (sounding a bit dejected). If I don’t get you, I’ll just call you in the morning. I’ll try again in a few minutes. (But I thought you said you weren’t going to call again until the morning) Good bye baby. *click
2:03am
Baby, I’m trying to call you back. (desperation in his voice). You must have went to sleep. I told you I’d hold you in my arms, massage you with my tongue. (ewwww) Anyway…that time will come. So, I just want to say good night to you. I’ll be thinking about you (Yeah….I sure bet you will). Can’t wait to ho-…..can’t wait to see you again. This Keith. (as if we needed another reminder) Goodnight baby. *click
**********************************
I, of course, could not leave this alone. So, I let me co-worker listen to the messages. After a few minutes of laughter, I decided to call Keith and tell him not to call me anymore. I didn't want his words to fall on deaf ears but, I also didn't want him waking me up again in the middle of the night. I called the number and a woman answered. Uh oh!
**********************************
Me: "Hi. Yeah..ahh .....is Keith there?"
Woman: "No."
Me: "Well, can you give him a message for me? Can you just tell him to stop calling me. I think he has the wrong number."
"OK. I'll tell him."
**********************************
Uh oh! I hope that wasn't Keith's wife or, as also affectionately know in parts of Oakland as his "old lady". A few minutes go by and I return to my cubicle to actually start working. *ring, ring
This time its a blocked number. Out of shear curiosity I pick up.
***********************************
Caller: "Why did you tell my mom you didn't want me to call you no more?"
Me: "Is this Keith?" as if I had to ask. I would know that voice anywhere by now.
Keith:"You know who this is."
Me: "No. Actually I don't know you."
Keith: "Of course you do. Don't act like you don't know me."
Me:"I think you have the wrong number."
Keith: "C'mon baby. Don't treat me like that. You know me. We met at Whitney's. I thought we had a connection."
Me: "No. That wasn't me. I don't know you or anyone named Whitney. I told you. You have the wrong number. Just don't call me. Who do you think I am?"
Keith: "You're Christy. We met at Whitney's place."
Me: "Nope. That's not me. You have the wrong number. I don't want you waking me up anymore."
Keith: "Ok. I WON'T call you no more."
*click
********************************
I don't think Keith believed me. He must think this Christy chick is blowin' him off...and she probably has good reason too. This guy sounds like a real piece of work.
I sort of half expected to get another phone call from Keith last night. Maybe I convinced him that I wasn't Christy and that he had the wrong number. Maybe he still thinks I am Christy and she/I want nothing to do with him. I really don't care. I'm just glad I got a full, uninterrupted night of sleep.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
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